| OH MY GOD |
[27 Jul 2008|05:21am] |
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Does anyone still actually use this thing?
My last post was two years ago, so i havent neglected this .....
Erm Life of Toni .....
Its 5.22am and im still working in the BBC, i graduated with a 2.1 in radio production... out of the 24 hours in the day i work 18 of them ... so im really tired all the time....
Im getting married soon .... in june ... which is a bit of a head wreck as single handedly i am paying for the whole thing myself?
Its very stressful, im very tired and i cant remember the last time i was able to be 22? i'll be going to cornwall next week for Anna Spanners birthday , shes amazing and she lives by a beach... phil got his days rejected a bit gutting ... but i know anna wont make me feel third wheel and i know ill have lots of fun with her sexy back ;P
I learnt to swim .. which is retarded that i did not how to in the first place.. but i am the product of one Fucked up homelife!
But its all different now .. cause i left home three years ago and i never looked back.. the only annoyance about moving away was when i very recently paid hanna a visit and i missed the comfort of having her life a 35 minutes walk from me.. beacause ona good day she lives about 6 hours from me now :( and sometimes i find life very fucking lonely ...
You know when you just wanna call someone up and go hang out in their house talking shit and watching randomn naked men on the msn messenger .. you dont ok .. just me then .. no natalie know what i am talking about hahaba!
I also work in blockbuster which i gotta say .. it may just be that im a geek and im not promoting them or anything but 10 free rentals a week, people are cool and i get to deny people films if they are shit .. in a saddistic way it gives me alot of power and control and i do like that .. since im my life i control maybe 1% of what i do and thats probably just peeing lol!
Its not so bad that my life is controlled as as pathetic as this seems and all that know me pre wales era.. will have to agree i need that in my life... i also need to be kept amused as im like a 5 years old child i get over hyped then i crash out and sleep .. pathetic but true !
You can also gather from this blog that i think way too fucking much and right now im runnin circles around myself... i need a holiday, i need a break , i need a cry .. not because my life is bad/sad or terrible just because i feel exhausted Butt!
Anyway this has killed ten minutes of a very long hour and a half shift haha !!
xxxxx
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| This thing still exists |
[08 Jul 2006|04:20pm] |
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Billy talent ii |
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Wow i cant actually believe that this thing is still going how unbelievably mental!
I aint been upto much really, just been doing radio work for the bbc ahem....
I actualy got to present a little as well...
Good stuff,
Im going to see billy talent tonight at the cardiff union, then in london on wednesday...
I also took up a hobby of interviewing bands for my radio show on gtfm, its really cool...
I have interviews set up tomorrow with reuben...And at the end of the month i am interviewing allister and the fight which is gonna be awesome im pretty cool with the fight but allister will be scary as they are a big deal lets face it.
I got my results back and my radio excels above everything else which makes me happy as next year my entire course is radio...
Who knew by not driking i actually discovered i have brain cells and i am quite smart...not inc i know have a hell of a lot more friends than i use too and i am recognised,
Random thing is there not people i go to uni with all them emo cunts who speed four hours doing their hair which winds me up!
I go to this amazing club cough i say amazing but htink of a smaller version of old school stairways called metros, so if anyone is ever in cardiff check out metros wed is 99p double night,
Can you believe that i go there and stick to water?Toni water when the drinks are so cheap, fraid so peeps turned out that i just enjoy life better sober and i have aged 8 years siince moving out here and dropped 19 stone size 12 people 12! makes a change from 16 im telling ya!
anyway my life summed up in a paragraph or 4!
:)
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| something else |
[14 Jun 2005|05:28pm] |
I remember the good old days,days when i could just chill and although very broke i could watch me tv ad drink me drink,seems now lil chef has taken over my world.
dammit!Stupid franchise!
i have been living in hotel cal tho playing me pool (badly)
Mottram totally diff looking randomly was there very shocked but nice to see him!
very happy me phil is in town this week whoo and i have a 1009 plans to fit in this month!
painyed trevs room wit him today that was time consuming and tomorrow its hitting manx and seeing reuben,then next tues jimmy eat world wit me twins and then results day!:% not too sure how im feeling about that!Phil is convinced im gonna pass and im scared i will disapoint
Anyways hitting the kray wit jess sometime b4 her baby pops out hmmm!
well i can hear sponge bob . . .
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| last night |
[27 Apr 2005|10:20pm] |
i drank with one of me mates a bottle and a half of vodka then i went out and drunk some more
not depressed very happy actually well spent whole day puking lol!
that was not fun
hope everyone comes cray on saturday with me and phillippppo!
watching eternal sunshine of a spotless mind
so like yeah whoo!
xxx
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| ?/ |
[26 Apr 2005|06:10pm] |
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feel l;ik e gonna puke so depressed i dont fae anymore
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| dopamine |
[17 Apr 2005|07:23pm] |
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dopamine is now on /on tuesday at barfly liverpool not monday!so hannah and me luce you bestest still be comingness xxx
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| Tonight |
[14 Apr 2005|11:16am] |
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so tonight i have been invited to the crazy house but i have absolutly no money and its callos going away thing an i luv callo so it will be made possible i am getting my old job back and will returning ho,me early as i have no lectures left
So i will be once more a working girl
with money to go out with and shop with
anyway im really swayed cos last time despite falling down the stairs i had an awesome time with everyone plus it was fun and i need to celebrate the fact that today is my last deadline and all my work will be complete
yay
i aint been upto much spent weekend with phil in the big C i cant wait to move there i love cardiff i think its fabulous and all the guys are gorgeous like every second guy!
Ive gota go casino and for a mealtomorrow with gala brom peeps as its mandys leaving doo we are casino it and then meal!
i then have dopamine on monday for all those who want to come?
its in liverpool and its gonna be a jolly olly laugh!
then tuesday to the magical world of manchester again to see the most amazing most spectacular dopamine!
I had a weird dream about richie last night?
we hugged cos we aint spoke for ages then i lay down on his lap and he kissed me then some girl came in who was stunning who was his gf and she left him but he was happy only cos she left him i got trapped ina cave with a sheet of ice stopping me from ever escaping talk about ur oddball dreams,i also had one with phil in only we were ona bus and we went to get tea and he wanted saomething called lar which is like chips and beans and i wanted chicken fried rice but it was 6.20 we were like what a rip off lol!
anyways thats all kids
xxx
ps again happy birthday aids come the kray tonight and celebrate
xxx
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| lalala |
[03 Apr 2005|02:30pm] |
so anway had lots of fun last week with the luciness and hannahness and calloness and natalieness although i did have to leave on cookie night cos i could hear things being said that werent actually being said the paranoia went thru the roof but oh how good a cook is han han!
i had a weell good time in manx!
we started drinking whisky at like half eleven in the nmorning on the coach then we cont in the retro bar followed by every bar and club we could find,tbh i can hardly remember alot that happened i just remember being in the rock world and the next thing on the coach watching natalie going flying off the seat!
after 13 hours of drinking andd and an hour of puking to follow1
for both me and nat lol!
then me phil has come down and i have been with him ever since although im not allowed to say that he is wearing socks for some reason anyway i have an incredible amt of wk to do before the 14 th then im done yay1
got kaiser chiefs on friday so im pretty psyched oh yeah and the fight on wednesday whoo!
anyways im tired and tomorrow is official leeds ticket day and might i just add i now own over 12 johnny depp films mwahahaha and a jd bk whcih im reading at teh momment well im typing right now but will cont with the readibng in a mo laters kiddioesssssssssss
ps gonna have a party very soon just so you all know ill keep you updated kidda beans!
be in a week or so!
xxxx
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| life,death,cat |
[11 Mar 2005|12:21am] |
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hey everyone!
i am sitting up preparing a presentation on propoganda!
very interesting!
im going to see phil tommoorwnand i cant wait since i have found that i am actually over richie yes kids i am so over him!
lol
i discovered that i love phil more and more he is the most caring person in the world and he shaved off his side burns yay!
which makes him look younger and i wanan tounge his balls haha just joking though id wake u up if i was boring u"
work ios destroying me and so is uni i have so much work due in and not enough time!
i have tickets for a and jj72 and kaiser chiefs
the other day i went out with hannah
oops sorry she seems to have fallen off the planet!
so when u jump back on give me a call im broke and creditless otherwise id be harrassing your ass...thats if u can tear yourself from the people you like then hate then like?
anyway i miss ya home girl1
hope yur ok luce i gota laugh though at the irony of talking about death with you asnd although what you lost was far greater and dearer and totally diff to a hamster its kinda weird innit that it should happen!
anyways you know ur nan is bragging to everyone how she has a grand daughter the image of avril lavigne :)
and shes totally playing with your cat ...
anyways love ya girl gis a bell soemtime :)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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[28 Feb 2005|08:31pm] |
so
thanks to everyone for making my birthday so cool i had alllooottta fun and im glad you all like phil!
best part is a toss between me hitting kath a=or richie and phil staring each other out ...after richie tells me he dosent love me anymore ... so why are u so arsed richie?
i got trashed me and phil had a drunken fight wqsnt so much me seems were quite alike eh lol!
thats gonan make good entertainment
i am very happy anyways!
had a good time at hannahs but was so tired so went back and watched sleepy hollow thank you me lucy and jainess!:)
just had random convo with blast from the past vikki raynor!
muct say that i enjoyed seeing chloe and caz miss em the lil ragmuffins!
anyway im at home cos im going to a quiz with natalie so free beer eh!excellent!
looking forward to june/july when phil gets a housde and im living with him yay!
we know we can stand each other fro more than two days now so its all good plus i need to be away from here cos so many things remind me of richie and it is sooo haunting hence why i hadnt been out for years!
lol
oh well all is good eh kiddas x x x
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| my birthday |
[19 Feb 2005|02:14pm] |
hey kids so i thought i would tell ya that although i have kinda squared off the kray as richie is my biggest fear and i dont drink and blah blah blah blah
im still gonna go nest friday so everyone should come out and see me as chances are im not gonna be here is summer!
phil is gonna try and geta flat and im moving up there with him to find a job before i start uni!
i have 5 presents off phil and i only know the biggest which is a new camera phone whoo i got another big one then small ones but i dotn care hes a babe!
happy birthday j i cant remember if it was 19 or 17 lol!
and of course happy birthday han han ill see u in kray next fri no doubt!
ps i wont be normal me next week cos phil will be coming so i have to play the act ... im so quiet and good thingy lol!
anyways love ya kids x x x x
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[16 Feb 2005|08:17pm] |
so as most of you know i hardly drink anymore if at all,i went out last night for a record time a whole of an hour,i was pretty stoned though lol!
think we all were but no paper hearts appearing so that was good!
Thers also the amazing thing that my teacher was ill so had a day off and we all got a one week extention on our cwk but itsno use to me as in cardff all next week for mine and phils bday yay!
thers also hannahs and jais lol man i hate feb lol!
my head hurts i just watched american beauty and my girl man films rule!
i miss me jaded like though :(
i have to apply on ucas on sunday wthen its house hunting so i cah move to cardiff in summer so i can get a job and im not broke all the time!
plus i get to spend my summer with phil!
listening to student rick they are aces!
anyways kiddas au revoir!
x x x
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| EVERYONE LOVES MAGICAL TREVOR |
[15 Feb 2005|09:40pm] |
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EVERYONE LOVES MAGICAL TREVOR |
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Everyone loves Magical Trevor, coz that tricks that he does are ever so clever. Look at him now, disappearing a cow. Where is the cow, hidden right now?
Taking a bow, is Magical Trevor, everybody's seen that the trick is clever. Look at him there with his leathery, leathery whip, its made of magic, and with a little flip.
Yeah yeeeah yeah....the cow is back. Yeah yeeeah yeah....cow is back. Back back, back from his magical journey.
What do you see in the power of demension?
He saw beeeans, lots of beeeans, lots of beans lots of beans oh beeeans lots of beeeans lots of beans lots of beans YEAH YEAH!!
MAN THIS GUY IS MY HERO
GOING TO LA BATEAU TONIGHTY WITH ME HOMIES LOL!BUT NOT BEFORE ME AND CLO AND GEMSIES ARE HAVING THINE HALLUCINATIONS X X X X
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| This is just an hallucination |
[15 Feb 2005|07:18pm] |
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jimmy eat world-takes my pain away |
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So man amsterdam let me start with that story
So its a gorgeous place and ive been there a few hours and we dont feel like getting fucked cause we arrived four hours late
But the next day ive spent my cash and these guys are like hey have some wine but u HAVE TO CHUG IT
so we all do i have to beat everyone so i do more lol
im walking down the street talking to nat and we start laughing but when i look at her again she looks terrified and asks me what the fuck is up as i spent the last few mins mumbling then laughing-HALLUCINATION
from this point on i cant identlfy the real and unreal the most terrifying time of my life,but i cant stop laughing.
then back at hotel in bar chloe and mike are pushing the ashtray at each other the ashtray to me is white and im laughing at the obvious flirtiung then a big red heart appears over their head?
i realise then that cloe and mike are staring at me again terrified and the ashtray was black....i go to bed at this point.alot more halluciantions follow but i dunno what was real or not
im told i cried and laughed together then quoted "im happy but these tears they fall"
AMSTERDAM!!!
then i go to the signing in liverpool and see new found glory with me han han and they are fab i seen richie and we hug kinda andf talk a little but only a few minutes worth,i didnt feel anything but i cry for that fact he did look fucking gorgeous though
So then im in crowd dancing too new found glory and who was behind me the one and only OZ YES LUCY STAIRWAYS TOILET OZ!
i felt well embarrassed but he said hey and we fought for a plec lol bless i was soo ashamed though
i came home and finished v day watching peep show im seeing phil on sunday for a week and so will spend my v day with him then
hope everyone is ok thats my amazing littl;e stories DRUGS ARE BAD ARGHHHHHH
X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XC X X X X X X X X X X X X
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| happy sad death |
[10 Feb 2005|11:31am] |
its been a while
i am well excited today as i am going to amsterrdam at midnight and i just cannot wait
i also just discovered something hannah u may wanna get in touch it concerns nfg we best still be going together or its an ass kicking for u
i am going thru all sorts of emoticons at the mo theres the whole guy thing
:(
i dont u.stand is it possible to feel this way about two ppl?
anyway im ina cafuddle if han wants to talk about that
richie called helly toni lol that was the best thing ever cause he still is thinking of me
i wish we were mates maybe one day
alan stayed last nioght and we had a laugh actually the laughing just went on and on until we couldnt stop due to the pain in our stomachs damn the stupid flying duck
on the 25th of feb i am going to the kray for my bday its a fri so all best cometh
erm hannah i am working on ur bday and i wont get there til eleven which is a problem as im going to cardiff for his birthday vvvvv.eary sunday so im gonna have to sort something out eek
ill think of something la!
i wish the horridness of not being with someone would go i feel like aidan when he lost sarah and how miserable he was
i am crazy in love with phil but i just cant erase me feelings for richie and therefore i feel liek dying every day cause i wish that i could just give my all to one and not both
i know h hates me and its killing me
gonna sign off now im in a depressed stupor again anyway luce,han,clo,rob ,aids,j and anyone else hope you kiddas are all ok and talk to you all real soonb x x x x x x x x x x x x
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| Me and richie... |
[24 Nov 2004|11:45am] |
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Just so everyone knows,
Me and richie have broken up!
I broke up with him today.there was no hate of him or anger from me it was a total sane desicion.
i thought it was the best thing to do!
Im not gonna bitch,he was angry but to me the relationship eneded a while back,
We lost the friendship,now he lost the trust for me we were left with nothing and were miserable
Hes not abastard or anything hes the best person in the whole world and i love him so mych,but it was time
i think he hates me,when he said that it woukld be anidea to do it whilst we were still friends but apparantly we are not that anymore!
which really has broken my heart!
So if i ignore everyone or hwatvere im just kinda sad thats all!
xxx
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| hwo to get too me |
[12 Nov 2004|03:25pm] |
jump a train to liverpool centrall
get onto northern line
get on the hunts cross train
get off at st michaels its two stops!
and u will be at alla toni x
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[10 Nov 2004|01:52pm] |
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Rufio |
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Hello all.
firstly i am having a party...
this party will comence on friday!
seven onwards!
i decided it was gonna be like acrazy thing there are like aload of ppl coming compared to the space i have but this will make me look popular!
lol
if i aint invited ya well then take this as an invite and find ppl to come with!
mmm someone is cooking in my flat smells nice like!
just dyed marks hair then were going to feed ducks in sefton park itl be an adventure!
Secondly...
Lucy your entry is off the heazy!
lol!
look at me go!
i love it the ben the cat tribute should be set to work straight away
!
BEN ... THE CAT!
Also i am very touched that ur vid is remembered by everyone i think im gonna have to get a copy of that off me han han!
actually for xmas im gonna see if she can do that for me :)
so me and richie have decided we have nothing in common anymore and this is reall hard but i think that we are gonna end...
he said he gives us a few weeks!
oh well i dunno verey good thing has to end!
we relaised we are more like mates!
which is horrid,i still love him tho and i really hope it dosent cos itll kill me ...
it will be a continous death over and over until gradually i just grab a knife and kill my self strabbing myself in the heart till all the pain im feeling goes numb and i die!
YEY andys back whoo the soab better be at me party getting drunk and all that like!
well wow this ebtry is really long for me marks gone to ash the die outta his hair and im marvelling in the fact yes i got a new found glory ticket i is very very happy!
peace out me amigos andalai ondalai see u at me party whoo!
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
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| The hurt of those that takes you SO by suprise |
[06 Nov 2004|04:24pm] |
If i could id prove you wrong and if i could id let you know...
Your controlled by your own deire...knowing your so wrong
when the sun is gone were there is no hope embrace this in your eyes!
its amazing cos of my amazing night (sarcasm)
i realsied who can and cannot be trusted.
which kinda means the people i was closest too im not anymore
which to me i find really really sad!
this week ive experienced so many different types of hurt i think i could release an encycolpedia so when your loved ones hurt you,you know how to cope or at least what your dealing with!
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| anget take 2 |
[10 Sep 2004|03:55pm] |
IMPORTANTLY AGAIN
Im so sorry fornot telling u aidan about our affair!
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